dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
