She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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