the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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