I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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