therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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