His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I got inside last night via doggy door
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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