Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
