so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
