Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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