i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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