I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
This house was built for laser tag.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
