Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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