hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
