The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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