i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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