yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I enjoy the company of your penis
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