And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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