like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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