I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.