I can tuck mytits in my pants
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass