i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex