dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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