make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
