My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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