when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
