whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
