You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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