In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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