And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.