White coat. Heels.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
well, you know. whores of a feather.