sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.