I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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