just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
