my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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