Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
