Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
