i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
