Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
