yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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