you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
