the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
