Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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