i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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