the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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