i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
A+ Viking dick
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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