she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
