Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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