so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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