yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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