Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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