I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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