why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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