i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize