PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
