Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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