Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
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you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
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Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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