I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
