apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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