So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
