i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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