i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
there was a trapeze. enough said
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
