It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
