Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
