You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
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It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize