So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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