12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
