She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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