I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
