They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
please come you make the beer taste better
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
